We All Watch Ourselves on Skype

I’m such a bad Skyper! I keep
looking at myself
how I talk
how I Zoom
how I exist
It’s just vanity I put make-up on today I put
make-up on which I haven’t worn in ages
which has become my new standard of
discipline

So you’re delivering this meeting
this quiz
this therapy
this catch-up
I’m sorry, but I can’t stop
staring at my face
look at it!
I’m radiant I’m glowing
Is my side-eye-staring-at-my-face now obvious
to you?
Are you doing the same-self-staring
as me?

I’m checking my top-right of the screen reflection
like glancing to my stage manager
hiding in the wings
giving me a line prompt
telling me to tone it down
with a look

I’m having a conversation with myself
every face every smile every flick
(apologies
appointments for
my chipped teeth
my split-ended hair
were furloughed)

During this anecdote I’m sharing to the group
which is a lie
I’m so charming I’m so annoying
I’m so              animated…
Hands?            No hands?
Hair up Leave hair alone.
I’m sorry… No, you go….
Laugh now      Not too loud.
Sip from mug Show the mug pattern.

I’m sick of isolating
with this self-obsessed bitch.

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Photo by Gabriel Benois on Unsplash